Work Work Work

Taking Estrace after dinner is ok... but being up late after my dinner has digested isn't ok. It really makes me feel the same as the early stages of nausea during pregnancy. I want to go have a snack, but I know there is no baby in there that I would be starving. It is just my empty tummy needing a snack. Just go chug some milk is what Mr. D would say if he was awake. He worked himself a 14 hour day today. Man he is a hard worker. I really don't envy the guy. I can't even imagine how many calories he burns in a day. It must be a couple thousand at least. No wonder he can't keep weight on. I have an "idea" of what he eats everyday( not counting any non-scheduled gas station stops for a bbq burrito snack). I make his lunch and I know what goes in there. Healthy food... with the exception of the chips and cookies... and the occasional pop tart. Then, I know that he eats for dinner... which is always SO much food. What a life to have... where I would be eating just to keep my weight up. That is so not the case for my life. I chase around an almost 2 year old who recently has been my little cling on. So the chasing has been to a minimum. She would rather sit on the floor and play "sorting the treasure and putting it into the treasure box and then into some cups" or "taking all of the fruit leather out of the lunch drawer a few at a time and taking it into the dining room and putting it on the table". I ask her if she is "doing her work" and she always says "yes". She is so interesting. In a group setting she will hang close to me (if not up on my lap) for a while until she has surveyed the situation and decided that all is clear to get down. Sometimes it will be like 15 minutes. Then she will hang back to kinda get her bearings, to see what everyone else is doing... then she will maybe play or maybe be back on my lap for a little more time to check it out again. Ohhhh how the little quirks of our personalities make us who we are. I'm learning about my little tot's quirks everyday.

Selah brings me peace

IN MY LIFE
(John Lennon, Paul McCartney)

There are places I remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever and not for better
Some are gone and some remain

All these places have their moments
With people and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
But in my life, I loved them all

But of all these friends and loved ones
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and friends that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
But in my life I loved you more

If We Never Meet Again
(Albert E. Brumley)

Soon we'll come to the end of life's journey
And perhaps we'll never meet anymore
Till we gather in heaven's bright city
Far away on that beautiful shore

If we never meet again this side of heaven
As we struggle through this world and its strife
There's another meeting place somewhere in heaven
By the beautiful river of life

Where the charming roses bloom forever
And separations come no more
If we never meet again this side of heaven
I will meet you on that beautiful shore

These two songs are sung one right after the other in a song off of the Selah cd "Press On".

I used to listen to this cd over and over again. I would sing the 1st song off the cd to Miss D when she was a baby. I hadn't listened to the cd for a about a year and then I decided to put it in the cd player. Well... the songs that I listed above meant something totally different to me. A wave of emotion came over me when this song number 3 came on and I pushed through the song knowing that as I listened healing would come. I can now listen to this song over and over again because it reminds me of my Hazel and of my Jesus.

See Ya Miss D.

Miss D went in the nursery at church today! Woo Hoo. Last week Mr. D was hunting and I was in and out of the service because Miss D was so not into going in the nursery. Well today she was bribed with snacks and 2 of her best buds were in there. So we made the clean break. She was fighting it with the death cling on grip. But I was strong and didn't give into the "mama" crying and wimpering. I was able to enjoy a great service of learning and enlightenment about what God desires for us and how we all have a heart of our own with God given desires. Are we living out those desires and are we aligned with God, so that we know we are living a life of truth? Deep stuff. Have I mentioned before how I love the Bible. Always something new to learn. Others refer to needing outside commentary in conjunction with the Bible. They refer to the phrase as "continued revelation". The Bible always gives that to me (continued revelation)every time I read it. Where I am in my day and in my life... a verse will mean something different to me than to someone else... depending on everyone' s life circumstances. I know that when I read the bible I take it as the complete truth...not needing any other outside sources to back it up. I have faith that it is God- breathed and alive. I'm so thankful to be able to rest in that truth and always know that I can take God at his word because he is never changing and always true.

home

Surgery went well.
I'm home and resting.
I got pictures from the surgery..... maybe TMI?
I'm doing well... if you call and I don't answer that means that Miss D is sleeping and so am I.
Leave a message and I will call you back when I wake up.
I'm not taking my pain meds... because Ibuprofen is working for me!

today

11am
prayers please.

What I never knew

I learned a new thing yesterday. I learned it while watching Charlotte's Web. (the old version)

I learned how spiders get from here to there. All my life I never could figure out how spiders could string their web across such long distances. Like from one tree to another. I thought that they would walk down the tree and over to to the next tree and up to where they could get across... I don' t know. It was to hard for me to wrap my brain around. You know when you walk through a string of web and there is no spider in site. Well at the end of Charlotte's Web all her baby spiders are born and they all go up to the fence post and stick their little spider booty up in the air and catch a ride through the air by their web catching the wind. It was one of those A-ha moments that is followed by the thought... why didn't I ever figure that out?

Killing Power.

The hubby sent me an email yesterday... is there something wrong with that picture? We do talk, but he was at his desk and I at my desk at home...anyways...

He emailed me with the note... "weed"

Then inside the email he said "now that I got your attention"... hahahaha very funny. Funny how my brain would go that route and he would know that. Well what he was really wanting was for me to spray weeds around the yard. That has been my duty this summer. It is easy and I just fill the backpack up with weed killer and water and I'm on my way. I'm getting better at the job. The first few times I missed a tone of weeds. I'm not a very methodical person, so organizing my spray was a hard task to master. Last time weed amd grass killing spray got all allong the ege of the grass and I killed it DEAD! But this time... I was extra careful. I just know one of these times there is going to be dead footprints going across the lawn because I walked through a fresh spray and tracked it into the grass. After I'm done spraying I look around at all I sprayed and hope that it all dies. What if I got the mix wrong and all my spraying work was in vain? It will take about 2 weeks with the weather now for the weeds to die. But, when I start to see wilting and yellow my heart does a leap. Such simple pleasure.... life in the country. I get happy over a dead weed.

you can find just about anything on google... the picture really adds to the dramatic effect right.

What I know for sure.

What I know for sure.
Shannon tagged me and these are 5 things I know for sure.
1. The group Selah and their music speaks to my soul.
2. I got a sore throat and Miss D started having random puking when I started to stir the pot regarding a certain religion, I deleted my posts and commanded the blood of Jesus to cover me and Miss D and In the name of Jesus the Devil leave us alone and in the Name of Jesus my sore throat would go away. Instantly my throat was better and Miss D hasn't puked again. In the name of Jesus I commanded the demons to leave my throat.
3. My daughter is so cute (to me) that sometime it actually hurts my heart.
4. I love where I live and when I wake up (like today) and can see above the fog, changing leaves, two mountains, the sun and rolling light blue hills I can feel the awesome of God's creation and I hope that I never have to move away.
5. I miss my Hazel Hope with all my heart and I can rest in the fact that I know when I get to Heaven with Jesus we will have a wonderful time singing praises together!

.....now what do these three wonderful ladies know for sure?
How bout' Kelli and Lindsay( new to the blogging world) and Steph

It was brown and now it's down.

After a four year dry spell... Mr. D finally shot a deer. Last time this happened the weather was warm and the deer was going to spoil from hanging so they cut it up and put garbage bags of deer meat in my fridge. YUCKY. And what is the weather going to do this week I hear... warm!

I won't post a picture because mr. deer is missing his fur and his insides. We are skipping the butcher this time because last time I'm not sure that we got the same meat back. So... Mr. D is going to borrow a friends meat grinder and go to town with it himself. I'm so happy for my hubby because I just know that he is going to be in such a great mood. Year after year of never killing anything can really bring a guy down. So... now that there has been a deer shot and some antlers to keep and some meat to put in the freezer Mr. D should have his killing tank all filled up. I'm thankful that he came home safely after 4 days in the woods and that he was able to fill his tag this year.

another find.

I'm doing my BSF for this week... just came across this verse.
Matt 18:19 Jesus speaking...
I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you.
Ponder that verse for a while.

Hubby Hunting... Girls nite out!

I had dinner and drinks with one of my bestest new friends last night. Church and Arbonne brought our lived together. We did pizza (frozen kind)... our hubbies are out hunting and some girls needed a break from cooking! Well, the kiddos were loving the pizza and we had a few slices ourselves. Then I made us some delicious Mint Mohitos (thanks to my bro for the recipe). I was on the apple peeler-corer-slicer and she was on washing duty. The kids were eating peacefully at the table (ya right) and we were beginning to make some Apple Cranberry Butter. Well I left before the process got really going. I just helped the apples get themselves peeled and put into the simmering cranberry juice. It was smelling so good. We were sitting on the carpet while the kiddos were "attempting" to watch Tomas The Train. Baby needed her bed... Miss D was tired too. She was asking me what to do about a few pictures on her wall and if she should move them around. I have to say that I'm a fan of using what you have and just mixing it up a little. So... we brainstormed some possibilities.
Way to soon the night had winded down and I needed to head home to get a girl to bed. After she was down for the night, I looked around the house and thought that I should do the same thing. So... until about midnight I was in reorganizing mode. Just ask my neighbor... I go into these weird moods and do crazy things when Mr. D is gone hunting. I buzz around the house with a new awareness of possible clutter and decorating gone bad. Things get put away and put other places. Stuff gets thrown out or reused in another place. It was a good time and I think that I may have burned off a few of the calories that I ate from the pizza at dinner time. I went to be hungry which is a good thing because that means that my body had digested the food from dinner and I was going to be accessing stored fat for energy as I sleep.

Welcome Carlie baby.

Welcome to Carlie Tahlia.

Born yesterday at 6:45pm.

Weighing in at 5 pounds 13 ounces.

18 1/2 inches long.

No pictures yet... I will leave that up to the professionals.

She is such a cute little button. She looks different than her sister. She looks alot like her daddy... with his nose and tiny little nostrils. Miss D gave her lots of gentle pats and sat with me as we held her. I was hearing the devil whispering in my ear as I walked into the hospital.

"You won't be able to hold her",

" You will be overwhelmed at how little she is and she will remind you of how little Hazel was."

Well I will tell you what was running through my head...

I can do all things through Christ who strengths me. Phil 4:13

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.2 Corinthians 12:9

As I was looking up the verses to link on this post I can across this passage of Daniel 10.

v. 18 Again the one who looked like a man touched me and gave me strength. 19 "Do not be afraid, O man highly esteemed," he said. "Peace! Be strong now; be strong." When he spoke to me, I was strengthened and said, "Speak, my lord, since you have given me strength."

I just love the Bible. Every time I read it is new to me. The Word is alive and speaks to me every time I read it. This passage in Daniel 10 was such a find.

Pumpkins and Puke

We went and got our Pumpkins yesterday... 1st trip to the patch as a family. We went with some good friends and had a fun time. We saw the farm animals... Miss D was loving the Chickens. She was not loving the Goats. I think that she was confused that they actually exsisted in real life... not just in books. We did the punkin chunckin with the tiny pumpkins that were there for the taking. Our friend made into the barrell on the first shot. He won a prize! So worth the $8 entrance/person. No... that was so not worth it. But we did get a ride on the hay wagon out to the patch. We all found "THE PERFECT PUMPKINS" for our family. Miss D was without her pm nap. Which is how the day usually goes on Sunday. But lately she hasn't been eating to well. I think the last time she really ate a good amount of food was on Wednesday night. Since then she has been eating like a little bird. Frustrating for me... since I'm the mom and I try to get her to eat! Well last night at the patch she was having some sips of my Hot Chocolate and she was loving it. We decided to head over to their house for some dinner. A quick stop at the store to get some bread and we would be on our way. Well, about 5 minutes after leaving the patch Miss D decided to unload her lunch and hot chocolate all over herself. Her blacket caught most of it. There was a little splatter on the back of the seat in front of her. I jumped out of my seat into the back seat to make sure there wasn't going to be round 2. We made it to the store and got her all cleaned up. The car stunk and so did she. She was so crushed that she had messed her "niney" and she had to ride all the way home without it. Wining and crying the whole way. So we made it home and got her up to the bath. Took off the diaper while the tub was filling and she decided to unload her bladder right there on the bathmat. We were like seriouly girl... you got problems. Well once in the bath we were just waiting for her to unload the other end in the tub. That would have just completed the evening. But so such luck. She made it to bed and slept all night. I did go in at about 4am because she had fallen out of bed. I don't know what is going on with our girl. Right now... she is saying "cheese samich" so I guess I should go and make her one. I hope that she eats it! These pics sum up her attitude at the festivities

Specific Prayer

The surgery is scheduled. I need specific prayer for...
```````````````````````````````````````````````
~Complete Resection of Uterine Septum.
(they could not get it all in the 1st surgery which would require another follow-up surgery)...not cool!

~No internal Uterine damage and no perforation of Uterine cavity.
(They could puncture the Uterine wall and damage the organs outside the Uterus)....not cool!

~Normal healing of Uterine Cavity
(My Uterus could collapse and fuse together while healing)... again not cool!

Thank you in advance for all the prayers. I know that I am in the tender care of my loving Father and I know that Job 12:10 says...
In His hand is the life of every creature and the breath of all mankind.

Back to the Doc

I have a pre-op appointment tomorrow. I'm hoping to find out what my surgery is going to entail and what the after care is going to look like?
How long will I be down?
Will I be in pain?
Will I be able to lift Miss D?
Will I be able to walk around without to much pain?
Will everything heal well?
Will I have nausea coming out of the anesthetic?
Will I be on pain meds?
Do I have to go back in for a follow-up appt?
Will I be able to drive after?
Do I need to have someone here with me to help me take care of Miss D?
How long will be my recovery?
Just a few questions.
Please pray for clarity tomorrow as I am at the Doctor finding out what my soon to be surgery is going to shape up to be...
other than expensive.

Musings of Today

I have started counting calories again. I had stopped that...because I pretty much had memorized what everything is calorie wise. I was eating about 1400, after keeping track for a few days. Well not cool when I'm trying to drop the poundage. So... back to writing it down. Except that we went to ROCC for dinner tonight and that didn't work in my favor. The cheesecake was literally calling my name... EAT ME! So I had tooo.... you know I didn't want to make it feel bad. Wait, it's cheesecake it should feel bad. It is like a million calories. I did however do my Windsor Ab Sculpting video today while the tot was napping. So that basically cancelled the cake out right.

After BSF on Wednesdays Miss D comes home saying "nappy". Poor girl just wants her bed!



I started another blog to post Hazel related stuff on. I have one contributor. Not what I had hoped for. I will give it time. I'm hoping it catches on. I think that it could be a really great forum for women to share loss experiences together on. We will see I guess.
I'm loving my new car. It rides so smooth. It is fun to drive and very spacious.
Last night I was startled awake to Miss D standing at the side of my bed saying "mama."
I was scared out of my head! What the Bride of Chucky.
I didn't even hear her open her door... it is hard to open, so she rarely even is able to open it on her own. Either I was so out of it sleeping or she was in stealth mode when she opened it. We don't put up the gate anymore because she can't open her door, and she never comes out of her room in the middle of the night. It was so weird. So I scooped her up and took her back to bed, as my heart was racing from the sudden wake up. I laid with her for a few. I could tell that she was annoyed that I was in her bed. I could tell that I was cramping her space. So I took a hint and went back to bed. Not another peep out of her all night. I'm hoping I don't have to wake up to another Chucky at the side of my bed tonight. SCARY.... even if it was my own child.

...I had a pic here of my little squirt... but it kept haunting me. So... forget the image. SORRY! Not sure what I was thinking???

Looking for contributors

I'm inviting women to share their trials/stories on a different blog...
http://myhazelhope.blogspot.com
Maybe you have experienced a trial with a pregnancy that ended with fetal loss?
Have you had a miscarriage?
I had a late-term stillbirth and I will share about my trials with that.
What about fertility issues?
Please use this blog as a forum to share your stories.
I know that I have found relief in sharing with friends about different trials and situations.
I thought that this would be a great way to share with each other and offer encouragement.
How has God used this trail in your life to glorify HIM?
If you are intersted in contributing please email me at lifetolifeblog@gmail.com
....if you come across this blog and know someone who would be interested... please pass it on.
Looking forward to learning and sharing.

Pics don't lie!

July 21, 2007

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It is easy to see how the weight loss program is going when I get on the scale. STUCK! I have hit the plateau at 20 pounds. I want to lose 15 more! I have fell off the workout wagon! I have stayed on the 1200 calorie wagon...you know give a little here and there. Well, I say that has got to stop if I want to lose the last 15! All my pre-prego clothes fit now... but they could be just a little more comfortable. HELP! Give me encouragement! I'm going to treadmill it today. I always feel so good when I get off. I love to see the results of the number of calories I burned. Pictures don't lie! I can do it and I'm back on the workout wagon as of today! Hold me to it!
Oct 7th, 2007

Overkill?

I'm in the middle of copying and pasting each blog entry from this entire blog to Word docs then saving them into 2006 and 2007 folders. It is taking forever. I'm almost to September of 2007... then each time I do a new entry I'm going to save it to a Word doc and then save it to the Blog file. Overkill? Maybe, but I'll be glad after I print all of them out and put them in a binder to save and read when ever I want to!

New Life Lessons

New lessons from Matthew 2: 1-11

Magi... you may think of the 3 wisemen from the birth of Jesus right. Well, I have learned some new things about them that I didn't know before...

Magi/Wisemen/Astrologers/

Truthseekers/Scholars

These men were from the Persian area of the world and were known to follow the trail of knowledge. They had heard of the OT and new that there was a king to be born and a star in the sky when the birth took place. God may have been speaking to them in a way that they could understand. They were astrologers. When the star appeared they decided to follow it. They knew the sign.

Do we always see the signs that God is using in trying to get our attention?

Do we miss them because we are to busy in life to take the time to stop and look around?

We have to follow after God as He reveals Himself to us and chose to do it daily.

Why didn't the scribes and chiefs in the passage choose to follow the star also? They new the OT prophecy very well. They decided to stay and not go see the birth the the King. They had the knowledge of the OT and they knew that He was the newborn King... yet they chose to stay behind.

Deut 2:29 But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul. 30 When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the LORD your God and obey him. 31 For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your forefathers, which he confirmed to them by oath.

Am I filling my head with the knowlege of the Bible and not doing anything about it like the scribes and the priests of the OT?

God sees through the self-protection and God wants to break through!

Did you notice in the the passage link at the top of this page that it doesn't say anything about there being "3" wisemen. Interesting...how over the course of time the Bible is taken out of context. Parts and peices are used to further on doctrines and cults. The whole Bible is the solid truth. It is the Living Word and each new time I read it... I learn something new.

"We three kings of Orient are..."

Deut 4:1-2 Hear now, O Israel, the decrees and laws I am about to teach you. Follow them so that you may live and may go in and take possession of the land that the LORD, the God of your fathers, is giving you. 2 Do not add to what I command you and do not subtract from it, but keep the commands of the LORD your God that I give you.

Matt 2:11

They entered the house and saw the child with his mother, Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasure chests and gave him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

Gold- Will I offer everything I have been blessed with back to God?

Frankincence- The fragrant aroma of our praises fills the Heavens.

Myrrh- Will I take up my cross and serve him?

Is my heart desire true? God knows and there is no hiding from the truth.

o hair o hair were have you gone?

So my hair is falling out.
I went to the Doctor yesterday because it had got to the point where I was a bit worried. I took a sample of what I had lost since Monday and the doctor looked concerned. She told me... according to her I have alot of reasons that my hair could start falling out.
- Delivery of a child less than 6 months ago
- Post Tramatic Stress
- MRI
- Dye Test
- Stress over the upcoming surgery
- Started a new perscription
- Stopped taking my Pre-natel vitamins
- Hormone fluxuation
I have all of these... and a 20 month old toddler~
No wonder my hair is falling out. I guess I can be glad that I didn't have it highlighted recently. That would be depressing as each pricey piece falls out! I did just get a hair cut... I'm going to look just wonderful as my new hair grows out amoungst my long hair. After I had Miss D. my hair fell out very soon after delivery... not 4 months later! O well... purge hair mode isn't that bad I guess. Healthy new hair... sure it is great, but come to my house and see all the hair on the floor and in the shower drain. YUCK!

say please.

Miss D...isms

most of these are very demanding and we are working on please after each one!

"back minute"

"mama read it"

"daddy read it"

"mama ice "

"mama get it"

"carseat in there"

"wake up"

"nite nite sleep"

"food more"

"daddy work"

"up down"

"dance circle"

"door close it"

"mama water need it"

"no no no"

"mama color"

"dinner all done"

"mommy help"

"daddy help"

"food all done"

"mama play"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Miss D helping daddy clean the garage

Mmmmm........wet cold runny nose!

What the new car?

We got a postcard in the mail over the weekend saying that the dealership that we got our car from was offering a up to 85% buy back program. So I went in for an oil change yesterday and Mr. D met me there... such a surprise. I never get to see him during the day, let alone as a surprise! It was so coo. So we wandered around the car lot wondering how much they would give us as a trade. They were running low on 2005 CR-V's and were looking to make us a deal. So we looked at the Honda Pilots... nice but pricey. We looked at the Honda Vans... much to Mr.D's horror. He says he is to young to drive a van. So moving on... we looked at the Jeep Commander. Great price, quick call to check insurance (45$/year cheaper) and optional fold-down third row seating. We wander inside and sit down at the table. Keep in mind Miss D was with us. We are under the time crunch gun... she is without her afternoon nap. She is holding up quite well for 3pm. Nagotiations begin. They tell us what they will give to us if they "buyback" our car. It is in great condition, but over the allotted mileage they would like it to have. Ok... to low for us. We walk. They say... let me see what I can do. They dissapear. I will save you all the details. If you have bought a car from a dealership you know exactly what I'm talking about. So we agree on a buyback price for the CR-V and a price for the Jeep. Work out the details and we were able to get into a new car and lower our monthly payment. Great! Ours is dark grey!